My biggest fear

I love anesthesia, i honestly do. I cant imagine myself doing anything else. But my biggest fear is having to know so many drugs in school and sometimes i fear that i wont remember them when i get to clinical practice, God willing that i get there.
I taught i was the only one with those concerns, until someone mentioned that in class yesterday, and we all started talking about it. Its comforting to know that everyone else has those same fears, and doubts. Our professor even addressed that issue, and reassured us that once we start clinical practice we would have a better understanding of those drugs then our clinical preceptors because they are still fresh in our minds. He was honest with us and said that 70% of anesthesia graduates forget 90% of what they learned. You just have to refresh yourself in clinical practice, and you wont have to deal with the amount to drugs you learn in school.

Well, made me feel little better, but i still have fears.

Yup, and he didn't forget to mention that in a code people will be looking at the anesthetist to run it (i knew that part already), and you just have to take a breath and do what your trained to do. Yeah sounds easy until your in the situation and everything you could possibly fear that could go wrong, will go wrong.

I'm doing my best here to stay positive. I'm going to learn as much as i can, and do as i am trained. And the rest is in the hands of the big guy upstairs (i know that i'm not alone)


peace out
Hitting the library

This was one of the toughest weeks yet

Wow, i am mentally and physically exhausted, and it really didn't have anything to do with school actually. Nonetheless, i made it through, and navigated through a rough patch in my life.

Yeah, the purpose of this blog was to strictly vent about the everyday activities related only to anesthesia. But, its sometimes hard to separate my private life from anesthesia life. I have to be a professional and leave my feelings at the door. And most of the times i do, but sometimes you just cant help it. And this weekend was rough.

I had two major exams this week, had one yesterday and the other today. I'm not a procrastinator and i actually like reading everyday. Well, that habit came in handy because by the time Friday came, disaster followed.

First, it was waking up at 430am and seeing my grandmother in hypertensive crisis and in distress. It wasn't fun, had to rush her to the hospital. I was concerned over that but she managed to do well. Sleep deprived and calm after that episode, i jetted off to the library. But by the time nighttime came, had another major crisis. And this time it had nothing to do with the grandparent. I'm not going into details but i was simply left in tears and heart broken. I usually have a hard time trusting people, and for the first time i let my guards down just to be deceived.

I spent most of Sunday morning in a daze, could barely touch a book and had little sleep. Sunday night, i managed to pull myself together and read a little for my exams. But anyways that was the weekend, and on Monday my classmates could see that i was not myself. Guess I'm not good at hiding my emotions.

But, remember that crazy professor i told you about in one of my previous post. I swear, i couldn't stop laughing the whole class. Professor A. was clearly having a bad time too, and A. was just crazier then ever. I laughed so hard that it dried my tears away. We learned about the anesthesia machine, and A. clearly needed some practice using the machine. I'm guessing that A. hasn't used that type of machine in a long time.

Anyways, i managed to pull myself together and took one exam on Monday. Grades are back, and looking good. :). Had the other one today, and we'll see what happens.

I feel better actually. I have great friends and family. And although i didn't go into detail about the 2nd crisis in my life with them, they understood and still gave support. I am truly blessed to have great friends and family that understand me.

I navigated through a taught one you guys. lets just say, you have no idea what went on. But God is good all the time and all the time God is good.

I take it as a life lesson. Never a failure, always a lesson.

Anyways, today is the first night in a long time since i have taken some time out for myself. I think i finally deserve a brake from mr books, and I'll see him tomorrow in the library.

Goodnight people.

Competition

what ever happened to helping each other?

I don't understand why people sometimes feel the need to compete with each other. We are in anesthesia school together and we should be helping each other. I'm not into competition. The only person that i need to compete with is myself.

I was not surprised but totally turn off when i see how people are literally competing with each other. For instance people sometimes read from the valley anesthesia book, but they will straight up lie about it and will on occasion accidentally slip when 3 days ago they said they don't use it. Get the picture.

And this one girl in class. Wow. Seems like people don't like her much. I'm not sure why. She seems cool but the people she hangs out with all the time never told her about the valley books, and never gave her some really helpful study aids. It wasn't until she asked me for help and i mentioned to her that the Valley was a great resource and she looked at me like "what are you talking about?" and im like " didn't the people you hang out with tell you" and she's like no. Of course, she's upset at them and wants to hang with me now. Oh brother. This was a drama filled week.

I don't really trust people from that program anymore. All they want to do it compete.

Please. Who the hell has time for that?

Anyways, my love life has crashed and burned before my eyes. Major disappointments. Long distance, and no free time are the culprits. I don't know what to do. I think I'm having a quarter life crisis in the middle of anesthesia school. Since I'm closer to 25years old then 50, i cant be having a midlife crisis. So I'm having a quarter life crisis.

My books are my refuge, i start reading and all these taught s go away for the time that I'm in the library.

The AANA

We recently applied for the AANA, the American association of nurse anesthetist. I am now officially a member. I wonder when my card will be arriving.

Anyhow, i took this online survey thing that they had about stress and your overall health. Well, at first i taught it was annoying and too long. But i decided to finish it. And well, not surprisingly, I'm very stressed out. REALLY, tell me something i didn't know.

The survey asked about overall health, drug and alcohol use, exercise patterns and so on. Cool questions that i didn't think about. Anyways, at the end of the survey they give me some helpful advice. Some i already practiced and a couple i just learned so i taught i would just share with you some of their tips on coping with stress.

Thank you for your participation. The AANA is here to serve and help protect our members.

Here are 10 ways to decrease stress.
1. Talk it out
2. Exercise
3. Avoid false guilt
4. Set realistic goals and priorities
5. Avoid perfectionism
6. Maintain a sense of humor
7. Hang loose. Set aside time to relax
8. Live by the calendar, not the stopwatch
9. Avoid overindulging in drugs, alcohol, caffeine and nicotine or food.
10. Think positive

Thank you for your help and support
Terry and Tony

Anyways, peace out i have to go study

Structures that i have to remember

Gosh, i knew going into this that i had a lot of drugs and dosages to remember and their mechanism of actions and effects on the body. But geesh, i have to remember structures as well.

I don't understand how that is relevant is my future practice. can someone please explain that to me?
How is remembering the structure of thiopental or, propofol going to be relevant in my practice?

Yes knowing the different dosages is very important, and knowing how they are metabolized is important as well because i want to know how these drugs are eliminated from the body, and knowing the side effects is also relevant. That will make me a good, knowledgeable practitioner. And i do want to administer anesthesia safely and responsibly.

But i still dont understand why we need to know some of these structures.

Do they even ask these questions on the boards?

As if i don't have enough to learn and remember all ready.
Anyways, that's the structure of thiopental. Maybe seeing it often will help to memorize it.

Anyways, peace out.

Loving anesthesia

So, the first few months of this program was basically learning the basics. Now, we are really getting into what i like, the anesthetics, anesthesia and drugs. I'm loving it.

The drugs are pretty hard to remember. You have to know all these dosages and mechanism of actions of these drugs. How these drugs are metabolized, and active/nonactive metabolytes. So, its getting harder and complicated but then again seniors told us to have fun over the summer, the real anesthesia starts in the fall. And i will say it loudly "they were so right". This is not a joke.

From the first day of class in September to now, ive already learned the opiods most commonly used in anesthesia, the benzodiazepenes, the induction agents and the neuromuscular drugs. Boy, my brain is getting tried already.

We learned how to manipulate the OR table. And that wasn't that great. I dont really care for that but i have to learn it. Next up is the anesthesia machine, and i cant wait to do that. I'm excited and that's next week. WOW.

We dont learn A-line and CVP insertions until next semester. And i cant wait for that either.

Types of anesthesia include local anesthesia, regional anesthesia, general anesthesia, and dissociative anesthesia. Local anesthesia inhibits sensory perception within a specific location on the body such as the hand. Regional anesthesia numbs a larger area of the body by administering anesthesia to a cluster of nerves. Two frequently used regional anesthesia are spinal anesthesia and epidural anesthesia. General anesthesia describes unconsciousness and lack of any awareness or sensation.

I'm reading Miller's anesthesia and that book is hard as hell. Most of the time, i end up going to the Morgan and Mikhail book, that's much easier to understand.

Enough anesthesia talk. I'm getting too excited here.

Personal life is looking great. Cant hang out that much cause of school, but its looking brighter. I'm such a geek, i swear.

managing stress

This week was truly intense. One of the worse weeks so far in this program, and i learned one thing about me. I taught i knew how to managed stress, but apparently i don't.

I had 3 midterms within 2 days, and oh boy, i was up till 2AM every night studying. I'm exhausted. And i realized i managed stress poorly. It wasn't until today that i realized that i basically didnt eat that much these past few days. I would start eating then my mind would start drifting off to my midterms, and i would loose my appetite.

So, i've decided to do some research and share with you new techniques i have learned to managed stress. I mean in order for me to survive this program i need to find other means to handle my stress; not eating is not safe at all. Please feel free to share your stress management techniques.

Look around
See if there really is something you can change or control in the situation

Set realistic goals for yourself
Reduce the number of events going on in your life and you may reduce the circuit overload

Don't overwhelm yourself
by fretting about your entire workload. Handle each task as it comes, or selectively deal with matters in some priority

Learn how to best relax yourself
Meditation and breathing exercises have been proven to be very effective in controlling stress. Practice clearing your mind of disturbing thoughts.

Change the way you see your situation; seek alternative viewpoints
Stress is a reaction to events and problems, and you can lock yourself in to one way of viewing your situation. Seek an outside perspective of the situation, compare it with yours. and perhaps lessen your reaction to these conditions.

Selectively change the way you react,
but not too much at one time. Focus on one troublesome thing and manage your reactions to it/him/her

Avoid extreme reactions;
Why hate when a little dislike will do? Why generate anxiety when you can be nervous? Why rage when anger will do the job? Why be depressed when you can just be sad?

Do something for others
to help get your mind off your self

Get enough sleep
Lack of rest just aggravates stress

Work off stress
with physical activity, whether it's jogging, tennis, gardening

Avoid self-medication or escape
Alcohol and drugs can mask stress. They don't help deal with the problems

Begin to manage the effects of stress
This is a long range strategy of adapting to your situation, and the effects of stress in your life. Try to isolate and work with one "effect" at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself. for example, if you are not sleeping well, seek help on this one problem.