Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning.
Albert Einstein

“Never regard study as a duty, but as the enviable opportunity to learn to know the liberating influence of beauty in the realm of the spirit for your own personal joy and to the profit of the community to which your later work belongs.”

Sunday, August 22, 2010

watchfull care: a history of America's nurse Anesthetist


I would definitely recommend this book to anyone in CRNA school, or anyone thinking about going to CRNA school and our physician counterparts as well.
Basically, it goes over the field of anesthesia from infancy to the turn of the century. From doctors seeking competent staff who would devote their attention to the patient instead of novice residents who were more concerned with what the surgeon was doing, then paying attention to the anesthetize patient. To building formal nurse anesthesia programs, to seeking accreditation, and maintaining the viability of the profession.

Read it in about 3 days. Would of taken less time, but was a little distracted. Check it out. For those going to your CRNA interview, it might come in handy.

Peace out, Y'all

Saturday, August 21, 2010

final grades are in

Final grades are in, finally. This one professor took forever to post the final grades. Honestly, started to get worried when she took so long. i kept calling everyone to see if they got there grade back, and luckily i wasn't the only one.

My overall taughs so far about the program. Well, this hard. i dont want to seem so repetative but it is. And that's understandable, i wouldnt want someone putting me to sleep, and their credentials were not top notch.

And we start more anesthesia specialty classes this fall, i'm nervous. Seniors have warned us, and i know what to expect but it hasn't calmed my nerves one bit. But i can only do my best, and work hard. i'm guessing that i probably wont have a lot of time on my hand to update this blog as often as i would like, but i will definately try my best.

i'm nervous.....wish me luck y'all

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Readings: i am insane

So, i love books. I can say that reading is one of my favorite past times now. Currently reading 3 books at the same time. Let me elaborate on that.

First, I'm reading a book assigned by the school and they expect a paper after that. That's fine, but i read the book already halfway and incredibly boring, so i stopped. Its about anesthesia but I'll read it again, and do the paper. I mean i like learning about anesthesia, but its aimed towards the history of anesthesia, and i find it so repetitive. So, in between reading the anesthesia book, i will be reading a romance novel, my fave subject.

And when the mood hits, I'll be reading small passage from this book of poems titled relationship devotional. Ive read some sections, pretty cool. Needless to say, i read the section on passion and seduction. Hey, what can i say, not getting any fun times around here. And this is my only time i get to read what i actually enjoy reading. Once school starts again, its back to hitting the library 24/7. I'm tempted to read the section on partners in love and life next.

By the way, my shopping online for these anesthesia books. Wow!!! very expensive. One book is like $445 alone. That's the most expensive book ever i need to get. You bet I'm going to be going looking around for a cheaper alternative because $500 is a lot of $$$$. The other books are OK. I remember in nursing school i had a lot of tricks up my sleeves, i managed to borrow or get those books are reduced price, hopefully i can do the same. lets see what i can pull from my books of tricks.

I am enjoying the rest of my summer, savoring every last moment minute until school starts again. Went to the beach and had a great time. Next stop an amusement park for sure.

Peace out

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Questioning my motives

I am infuriated. As one of my, supposedly, friends questioned my motives for wanting to go into nurse anesthesia.

I guess i have to learn to grown thicker skin. That's one thing I'm slowly learning, and my friend/co-worker (he calls himself the Nigerian_god) has been very encouraging. I mean, one can not simply do this for the money, or prestige. This is hard work. This is not a joke, and at the end of the day if you don't really like this, no matter how much money you are making, you will not like/survive this.

So, needless to say i was offended and most of all hurt by this person's comments. I have done nothing but encouraging this person to move forward with their lives. Actually, this person had basically given up on the idea of going back to school. She was satisfied with an associate degree with nursing. I encouraged her to go back and get my bachelor's degree. She went on to explain how she dropped out of this school, and then that school and on....She had many transcripts from different schools and some of then with F's because she never finished those semesters. She was having fun with her boyfriend.

I stuck to her like a tick and after she saw me making moves to go forward with my master's degree, she woke up and started taking things and life seriously. She's graduating in December with her bachelor's in nursing. I'm happy for her.

But that happiness was short lived, when in return she comes up to my face and says I'm in it for the money.

Yes, this is a lucrative profession, but money is honestly a small fraction in my motives for doing this. Honestly, i like working in the OR, and over time as a get older, maybe I'd like to work in a clinical settings with a dentist maybe, i like having that option. I want to give anesthesia to an open heart surgery patient today, and the next give an epidural to a woman in labor. I like the fact that today i can talk to my patient while they are in labor, and the next day 10 minutes after introducing myself, my patient has drifted into "lala Land", fast asleep. And why not intubate my patient today and then put in a central line. Why not have a code today, a code tomorrow and then next i see a miracle of life being delivered.

I had a nagging feeling that this was coming, but i had hoped for the best. Didn't want to loose a friendship. I encouraged her to do it as well. And all she could say is "anesthesia is so dangerous, i don't like it." Well then, be supportive and don't put me down. I'm already stressed as it is, and i cant believe how much it hurt to loose a friend. To me, friends eventually become family. And when she turned her back on me i felt hurt and miserable.

When i first got into the program, i didn't even want people to know. I was hiding it like crazy. I was terrified every time someone at work found out and came up to me and asked me. I just wanted to run and crawl into a hole. So, I'm not a bragger nor a showoff either.

People can be so shady......so much for friends

Monday, August 9, 2010

Support system

I can not emphasize how important it is to have a good support system. i mean spiritual, emotional and financial support going into this. the most important is probably moral support.

Sometimes, i come home so beat up, feeling down and tired. And nothing feels better then when you open that door and you find someone there greeting you at the door giving you support and encouraging you.

I don't have a life partner/significant other. But i do have family. I was, at first, unwilling to basically revert back to my pre college days when i was broke and depended on my parents for money. And i really looked into going away for school. But ultimately, i chose a school near my parents. And might i say that although we don't see eye to eye, my parents have been supportive. Even if i was miles away, and had support over the phone, some support is better then no support. they are my cheerleaders i tell you.

I do on occasions see this one person/potential partner, but i get mixed signals. What can i do, its life. The person is encouraging but....lol

But man, may i say how good it feels to have someone give you a hug on a bad day.

Thanks a lot family

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Semester one: officially over

Wow, I'm am exhausted. These last couple of days were really intense. It was basically, none stop studying. The library was definately my home away from home.

Pharmacology is not a joke. I dont even know how i managed to memorize all those drugs, their mechanisms of action and their side effects. Having my study buddy by my side was great. We just kept each other on tract, and whenever one was getting behind, the other was their to help push you forward. Pharm is not my favorite subject, but i somehow manage to always to well in that class. Always better then the other classes.

Physiology. Now, thats a topic i like. It's just interesting and fun to read, especially about the cardiovascular and respitory systems. I wish we did the "reproductive" system, if you know what i mean.

Anyways, i made a great choice when i resigned. I dont know how i would of managed to keep up with all the demands of this program with a job. I know i need the money but honestly, You are constantly doing something, either studying or writting a paper. Every one is different. I think i have decent time managment skills, but even with that i still felt i didn't have enough time.

Let me enjoy the rest of my summer, cause i know the fall is going to be hell.

peace out