Questioning my motives

I am infuriated. As one of my, supposedly, friends questioned my motives for wanting to go into nurse anesthesia.

I guess i have to learn to grown thicker skin. That's one thing I'm slowly learning, and my friend/co-worker (he calls himself the Nigerian_god) has been very encouraging. I mean, one can not simply do this for the money, or prestige. This is hard work. This is not a joke, and at the end of the day if you don't really like this, no matter how much money you are making, you will not like/survive this.

So, needless to say i was offended and most of all hurt by this person's comments. I have done nothing but encouraging this person to move forward with their lives. Actually, this person had basically given up on the idea of going back to school. She was satisfied with an associate degree with nursing. I encouraged her to go back and get my bachelor's degree. She went on to explain how she dropped out of this school, and then that school and on....She had many transcripts from different schools and some of then with F's because she never finished those semesters. She was having fun with her boyfriend.

I stuck to her like a tick and after she saw me making moves to go forward with my master's degree, she woke up and started taking things and life seriously. She's graduating in December with her bachelor's in nursing. I'm happy for her.

But that happiness was short lived, when in return she comes up to my face and says I'm in it for the money.

Yes, this is a lucrative profession, but money is honestly a small fraction in my motives for doing this. Honestly, i like working in the OR, and over time as a get older, maybe I'd like to work in a clinical settings with a dentist maybe, i like having that option. I want to give anesthesia to an open heart surgery patient today, and the next give an epidural to a woman in labor. I like the fact that today i can talk to my patient while they are in labor, and the next day 10 minutes after introducing myself, my patient has drifted into "lala Land", fast asleep. And why not intubate my patient today and then put in a central line. Why not have a code today, a code tomorrow and then next i see a miracle of life being delivered.

I had a nagging feeling that this was coming, but i had hoped for the best. Didn't want to loose a friendship. I encouraged her to do it as well. And all she could say is "anesthesia is so dangerous, i don't like it." Well then, be supportive and don't put me down. I'm already stressed as it is, and i cant believe how much it hurt to loose a friend. To me, friends eventually become family. And when she turned her back on me i felt hurt and miserable.

When i first got into the program, i didn't even want people to know. I was hiding it like crazy. I was terrified every time someone at work found out and came up to me and asked me. I just wanted to run and crawl into a hole. So, I'm not a bragger nor a showoff either.


People can be so shady......so much for friends